Foundational Agreements

By Jennifer Newman March 16, 2026


Community Values and Understandings, Basic Expectations, Queries and Advices)

This is an excerpt from our Resident Handbook. At places, it links to our current handbook for more details. As an applicant, you only need to read these foundational agreements, but you are welcome to peruse the entire Resident Handbook if you’d like to take a deeper dive.


Community Values and Understandings

Below are some values and understandings we agree to hold as a community. We know that we can return to these whenever we need to clarify our purpose or make changes in our House practice. The agreements below are not true because we write them, but because we do our best to live them. Each of us has a responsibility to help make these understandings true in our shared lives.

 

  • We value respect for ourselves and others in our community. 
  • We understand that respecting our varied identities and backgrounds is foundational to respect of any kind.
  • We value our diverse experiences, identities, backgrounds, and lives.
  • We understand diversity to include spectrums of identity including race, gender, class, socioeconomic status, religion, sexuality, ability. This diversity strengthens our community, and we seek to make our community welcoming to all those who find alignment with our values.
  • We value honesty in our relationships. 
  • We understand that through honest communication we enter into a deeper connection with others and open ourselves to learning and growth. We understand that something we say may be harmful to someone, regardless of intent. We seek to assume positive intent, and name harmful impacts. 
  • We value our shared spaces. 
  • We understand that we have collective responsibility for their care. This includes contributing to the physical care and upkeep of the house, respecting others’ possessions, and using our shared resources wisely. 
  • We value joy in our time together.
  • We understand that naming our gratitudes and appreciations for each other helps us to share in this joy as a community.
  • We value integrity, respect, and gentleness in our approaches to conflict.
  • We understand that conflict is a natural part of living together in community, and that by engaging intentionally with conflict, our relationships and community can grow stronger. We seek to live in alignment with the Quaker testimony of nonviolence.
  • We value the safety and well-being of ourselves and others, and seek to prevent harm to members of our community. 
  • We seek to support and affirm each other. We understand that harassment, intimidation, racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia are different from interpersonal conflict, and have no place in our community. 
  • We value stewardship of the earth.
  • We understand that our everyday actions, like how we use and discard resources, have an effect on our environment. We seek to learn best practices from and with each other.
  • We value solutions that take into account the needs of the individuals and the whole.
  • We understand that the process of reaching a decision is important in itself and affects whether the decision works, so we try to make the process thoughtful and intentional. 
  • We value the practices we’ve inherited from the Quaker tradition, along with the wisdom we each bring from our diverse backgrounds.
  • We understand that our best group process here involves a mixture of engaging with the Quaker tradition, learning from the practices of other communities, and creatively forging our own way.
  • We value an appropriate balance of power between residents, staff, and board, and we value open communication between these groups.
  • We understand that power does not operate in a vacuum, and recognize that our engagement with power in this community will involve greater social structures such as race, age, gender, class, and others.
  • We value boundaries in our personal and professional relationships. 
  • We understand that healthy relationships in community necessitate a sense of people’s boundaries. We understand that these boundaries may be slightly different for each of us, and that communication of our own boundaries and respect for the boundaries of others are key to our relationships.
  • We value change and adaptation.
  • We understand that these and other agreements will need revision over time. We each have a role in noticing, naming, and nurturing changes to better meet our community’s needs.



Basic Expectations

Chores (1x/week)

Every resident is assigned a task to help keep the House going. These chores are done one to three times a week and take between 30-60 minutes each week. Detailed descriptions of chores are available in the chore handbook (also located in the kitchen.)


Dish Crew (1x/week)

Every resident is expected to sign up for dish crew one night per week. Dish crew assists the Kitchen Manager in setting up for dinner, and is responsible for cleaning up after.


Dinner (3-5x/week)

Shared meals are a cornerstone of our community. Of the five times we sit down to dinner each week (Sunday-Thursday at 6:30), residents should plan on coming to at least three.


House Meeting (2x/month)

We meet two Sunday evenings a month to share updates on our lives and discuss issues of concern to the community. House Meeting is one of the few opportunities the community has to spend time all together, and we expect residents to hold themselves to a high standard of attendance. 


Committees

Committees do a lot of the work of running the House. Everyone serves on a couple committees at a time while living here. While committee work can vary in frequency, it usually takes a few hours per month.


Work Day (2x/year)

In the Spring and in the Fall, Residents gather with alumni and members of BHFM to attend to the physical House. We prepare for the coming season, and tackle projects ranging from deep cleaning, building, painting, and more.


Retreat (2x/year)

In the fall and spring, the whole House gets together from a Friday evening through Saturday afternoon on Retreat  in order for us to get to know one another better and to help build community.


Helping Hand 

There is some work of our community that doesn’t neatly fit into any standard requirement, such as welcoming guests and setting up for events. A willingness to pay attention to small things that need doing -- such as changing hall light bulbs, shoveling snow, or distributing mail -- is always helpful. We expect residents bring a spirit of collaboration and shared purpose, and to help support each other and the House. 


Queries and Advices


 
“Dearly beloved Friends, these things we do not lay upon you as a rule or form to walk by, but that all, with the measure of light which is pure and holy, may be guided...”

-Postscript to an epistle issued in 1656 by a meeting of Quaker elders at Balby, England


In the spirit of the early Quakers, we of Beacon Hill Friends House have developed this set of queries and advices based on themes relevant to our lives in community. 

  • Queries are provocative and open-ended questions designed to encourage reflection on a topic, thereby promoting clarity of purpose and understanding.
  • Advices arise from the experience and aspirations of successive generations of residents, and are specific suggestions to guide us through life in the House. 

We also have policies, which stem from these same guiding principles.

  • Policies are explicit expectations that protect the safety and well-being of residents and the sustainability of the House as a whole. 
  • The following policies are set by the Board, and cannot be directly changed by House Meeting. They are marked with an asterisk (*) in the handbook:
  • Pet policy
  • Substance Policy


In big picture terms, the Quaker principles that inform personal and group conduct reflect the belief that we are accountable to one another, and that authority originates not in the rule of officials but in a common commitment to the principles of integrity and mutual respect. The queries, advices, and policies are intended not to govern but to guide residents, individually and communally, as we seek to shape the life of our community.

Shared Responsibility

Queries:

  • How will you be accountable to the community for maintaining the house, participating in House Meeting, and supporting the work of our community?
  • How will you express your needs and concerns to the community?
  • How familiar are you with the systems that govern life in the house, and how engaged are you in keeping those systems current and relevant?

Advices:

  • Living in community requires that residents hold themselves and each other responsible for honoring their commitments to the House, completing them in a complete and timely manner and arranging for substitutions when necessary.
  • Making your needs and concerns known is an essential piece of living in community; otherwise they cannot be addressed, and may lead to conflict or resentment. It is important, however, to do this in a respectful and compassionate manner.
  • More helpful information about house systems can be found in the Residency Handbook, house emails, and the experience of other residents.

Hospitality

Queries:

  • How will you help make our home a place of hospitality, friendliness and peace, where the spirit of community may become real to residents and to all who visit here?
  • How will you account for your guests so that they are able both to enjoy our community and contribute positively to it? 
  • How will you help to engage dinner guests who may be visiting us for the first time and may know no one at the table?

Advices:

  • When you are hosting a guest, you can introduce them to the House by email or in person (e.g., at dinner). Even if your guest may be familiar to many residents, all residents may wish to know who they are and who is hosting them.
  • When planning a guest visit, we should keep in mind that the public and guest spaces of BHFH are a shared resource. When visiting with guests, we should be sensitive to issues such as noise, excluding residents in common spaces, and roommates’ concerns. 

Policies:

  • See Hosting Guests and Events

Recreations

Queries:

  • Are your recreations those that will renew your physical, mental and spiritual strength without causing harm to yourself or others?
  • Will you help create an environment that will be comfortable for individuals who wish to avoid contact with alcohol, tobacco, and other substances?
  • How do you take care of yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally? How does that affect the community?

Advices:

  • Being a whole person in community makes the individual and the community stronger. To that end, we seek recreations that support and nourish our whole selves.
  • We are an inclusive community that is accessible to those who wish to avoid alcohol and/or intoxication as well as those who wish to enjoy alcohol/intoxication responsibly and in moderation. We should uphold our standards lovingly, so we can be in harmonious relationships with those whose choices are different from our own.

Policies:

  • See Behavior Policies

Diversity and Equality

Queries:

  • What actions can you take to make our community a comfortable and supportive one for people of all backgrounds and personal identities?
  • Are you willing to challenge your own assumptions and step out of your comfort zone in order to help others feel supported and respected?
  • How can we support ourselves and one another in expressing all facets of who we are?

Advices:

  • Behavior that one person finds comfortable may make someone else feel uncomfortable. We seek to work through these tensions, which inevitably arise in a close community, in a loving and respectful manner.
  • We recognize that examining our own places in systems of privilege and oppression is crucial to building a community that upholds the equality of all.
  • BHFH promotes diversity in many forms, including but not limited to age, race, color, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sex, gender, sexual preference or orientation, gender identity, relationship status, and (dis)ability.

Policies:

  • See Behavior Policies


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By Kellen Appleton August 7, 2026
Dear Friends,  For those who haven’t met me yet, I’ve been living at the House for the past 8 weeks holding some of the aspects of Jen’s work while she’s been on sabbatical. Coming to the end of my (relatively short) time on staff here, I’m reminded of the value of living in community. I’ve lived in an intentional community in Lebanon, NH for the last 6 years (a home I’ll return to shortly). In that time, I’ve become accustomed to the style and rhythm of my home. Here at the Friends house, I’ve had the opportunity to experience being a newcomer to a home again—the soft struggle of learning a new place, taking the wrong stairs, feeling out unwritten rules, and navigating the awkwardness of living near strangers. It conjures some empathy for the many people over the years who have told me that communal living isn’t for them—that the work of being vulnerable alongside so many others in the intimacy of their own home is unappealing, scary, and risky. I’ve often dismissed those concerns quickly, noting that there is so much to gain in the bargain of communal living. I’ve often thought of it as a practical exchange: you have more, challenging conversations, but gain an economy with many hands making less individual work! In short, we ease our household labors by taking on the difficulty and slowness of process and consensus. However, simplifying intentional living to an exchange of labors misses something significant: the power of process. Those familiar with Quaker practice will not be surprised by this. Much like a meeting, which comes together knowing itself to be more than the sum of its members, a communal home comes together and finds that there is much to be gained from the act of gathering itself. The process of living together (creating consensus, resolving conflict, coordinating the many moving parts of individual lives) creates something bigger and more impactful than the good lives residents could live independently that more than off-sets the cost of proximity. So, returning to my home up north with its own flavor of mis-communications and mis-coordinations, frustrations over changing too slowly or too quickly, labors over practices and policies, and overall struggle to align the lives of its members, I’m reminded to Trust The Process.
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By Suzanna Schell June 29, 2026
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By Jennifer Caldwell June 19, 2026
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By Jennifer Newman March 25, 2026
Spend a summer living in intentional community in downtown Boston, helping sustain Beacon Hill Friends House during a planned senior staff sabbatical. This role offers a chance to practice steady presence, sound judgment, and clear boundaries while supporting day-to-day operations and community life. It’s an opportunity to contribute meaningfully within a well-defined scope — holding continuity, responding to emerging needs, and supporting a values-driven residential community. Duration: Approximately 8 weeks (mid-June – early August) Hours: ~15–20 hours/week + on-call presence Compensation: Base Stipend $3,200 Housing: Must reside on-site. Room and board included. Primary Responsibilities Community Presence Maintain a consistent, calm, Friendly presence in the building. Hold 2-3 scheduled office hours per week for residents and staff. Provide basic orientation, information, and logistical support to residents when questions arise. Encourage residents to utilize existing house processes and agreements when interpersonal concerns arise. Urgent Situations Triage Serve as the first point of contact for building or operational concerns that arise in the house. Assess the situation and determine whether escalation to the Board Clerk or a designated board contact is necessary. Follow documented emergency protocols and ensure incidents are recorded. Facilities Coordination Coordinate and ensure vendor access for facilities issues as needed. Escalate significant building issues according to the established escalation protocol. Document facilities concerns and actions taken in the incident log. Scope Limits This role is designed to provide stabilization and support while a senior member of staff is on leave, not organizational leadership. The role does not include: Fundraising campaign leadership Strategic planning decisions Staff supervision Policy development or changes Financial decisions beyond a pre-approved emergency spending threshold The role also does not function as a mediator or counselor for resident conflicts, except where safety or house policy requires intervention. What we’re looking for We’re looking for someone grounded, reliable, and clear about boundaries. Holds firm boundaries without overstepping or over-functioning Emotionally steady in stressful or ambiguous situations Uses good judgment about what to handle, document, or escalate Understands community dynamics Communicates clearly and neutrally Follows through consistently Respects the limits of the role Experience in intentional communities or residential settings is helpful but not required. Familiarity with Quaker values or a willingness to work within a values-based community is beneficial. To apply: Fill out our application by Friday, May 8, 2026 . Applications will be reviewed upon receipt, and on a rolling basis until the position is filled. Priority will be given to applications submitted by Friday, May 8. Questions? Reach out to Executive Director Jen Newman at  director@bhfh.org  .
By Jennifer Newman March 13, 2026
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